The vampire mountain book club
by EmilyRose-x
Summary: Kurda grows obsessed with of mice and men, and so he starts a book club... btw, i wrote chapter one at the top, but there is only one chapter so i don't know why i did and i dont know how to change it.


_**Chapter One**_

"CARLSON!" Kurda screamed. "How dare you own that Lugar Pistol, you freak!"

"What kind of a name is Carlson, it's a surname!" yelled Darren. "I'd rather have an ordinary name like Gavner or Larten…"

"Well you should know what Carlson did…" replied Kurda.

"Go on then!" Darren screamed. "What did he do?"

It was the middle of the day and all of the vampires in the mountain were trying to get a bit of rest. Not Kurda. He was engrossed in "Of mice and men" which he ordered of the internet for only £4.99 (bargain!). He and Darren were having a long winded conversation about goodness knows what, not in the same room like NORMAL people, but from opposite ends of the mountain, so they had to shout very loudly…keeping everyone else wide awake.

And Gavner had had enough.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled. "Either talk QUIETLY in the same room or GO TO SLEEP!"

"OK!" Darren screeched. "I am coming to your room Kurda. Where is your room again?"

"Turn left, second to your right, two lefts, right again, walk along the corridor, down the passage, look under the doormat, use the key on the door that says "To Kurda's Palace," go down the corridor, past the picture of me with a crown on, saying 'VOTE KURDA' (Vote Kurda everyone)…"

"Kurda, you've already won!" Darren reminded Kurda – loudly.

"Oh yeah. Anyway, past the picture, turn left, take two rights, left again and it's the fifth door on your right."

"Um Kurda…"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I'm at the right place. I've reached a door that says 'the Kurda fan-club.'"

"Wait a second…I've misread my map…"

About an hour later Darren finally found his way around 'Kurda's Palace' and reached his room…and everyone could finally sleep.

Kurda was sitting in his coffin. His bloodshot eyes were wide open and had huge bags underneath them. He was giggling softing and his arms were wrapped round his knees. He was rocking slowly back and forth. In short he had gone mad…

"Kurda…" said Darren, timidly. "Kurda are you alright?"

"George?" he said. "George is that you?"

"No, it's Darren…"

"OH! Well Darren, do you want to read 'Of Mice and Men' with me?"

"You bet by golly!"

And so the young boy went and sat with the weird vampire and they read together. When the other vampires were waking up, Mr Crepsley came in.

"What are you doing?" he said.

"We're reading. Want to join?" Kurda explained.

"Um…reading…well, although I can read I erm…have to go now…" Mr C. was fooling no-one…except the young Darren and the gullible and sleep deprived Kurda.

"OK then! Come back when you're in the mood for some educational reading."

"I will." He said, and then ran away, making a mental note saying 'Stay away from Kurda and Darren…or learn to read…'

Kurda and Darren started to spend a lot of time together, reading. They grew obsessed, and soon, other vampires started to read with them too. They were the founders of the Vampire Mountain Book Club. All of Kurda and Darren's friends joined apart from Mr Crepsley who was opposed to the whole idea.

"Reading! Hump, they could have thought of something more fun to do! Of course, I can read, I just think it's a bit…boring…" he would say.

Kurda's fame and popularity grew, and Darren started to feel like a proper vampire. Everything was going well. Until…one day…they reached the end of 'Of mice and men'!

"What will we do?" asked Arrow. "WHAT WILL WE DO I SAY!" he screamed. Arrow was feeling a bit like nobody ever noticed him, and he wanted a bit of attention…for once.

"Don't worry, Arrow." Kurda said soothingly, feeling old and wise. And he liked it. "Don't worry young reader. We will simply find another book." Kurda looked through his bookshelf, filled with atlases and his maps.

"Err…" he said. "I'm sure there's something here."

"I've had enough!" shouted Paris. "It is clear to us that you have not got any more books. We will simply have to go now, and find a new club to join."

"Hehehe." Said Mr Crepsley, listening in from out of the door. "My cunning plan is working. Soon Kurda and Darren will have no members left in their little book club!"

"NO!" shouted Kurda. "WAIT! I have a book here. It's called the Darren Shan Saga!"

Everyone gave Kurda a weird look, whilst Kurda skimmed through the novel.

"On second thoughts, you'd better not read this…" he said, and threw it on the fire in the corner that was there no because it was cold, but simply to make the room seem cosy (one of Kurda's more intelligent ideas). "But we have got 'My First Atlas' if you'd like to read that instead…"

And so, Darren and Kurda's book club stopped. It lost all of it's members. Kurda tried to order another book online but he could find none for such a bargain as £4.99. Anyway, even if everything was so cheap, he doubted that he could find anything that would satisfy such a large group of vampires.

But if there was anything to learn from the whole experience it was this : although book clubs hardly ever work, they're fun whilst they last.

And here, I bid thee goodday.


End file.
